Back to the bird basics: Basically the rule/comparison for both bird decisions and bird behavior is that you’re dealing with a feathered toddler. Any decision you make, make it in a “would I do this with regards to myself or my child?” Be it space to live/cage size, taking risks with hazardous materials etc. Hazardous material *WBDL (will be discussed later) but it’s something to think about, especially when it comes to both parenting or “parronting” in general.
Now parents… as an example…. imagine you giving your toddler to a person, a “sitter” that has no experience with kids. You’d maybe do it for a laugh with a video camera rolling in each room of the house like a reality TV show to watch as this novice attempts the world’s toughest profession and eventually starts to break down. You’d chuckle at it but as its happening, you’d always be there when the “sitter” had to hit the panic button. Then you’d stroll in like the host of Candid Camera with a smirk on your face, knowing exactly how to handle the situation and you’d take your toddler to get food or for a nap or pacifier or whatever. In getting a bird… there IS no such button especially if you’ve never had one before. There are dozens of parenting websites and magazines but for birds?… Good luck.
Even though parronting as with parenting, most things you’ll learn as you go, but there is no grandma to call if you run into a situation that you’ve never encountered before. We had no clue what to expect especially in an emergency situation and unfortunately, there was almost no information out there on the web. Facebook groups (as we learned later even though Facebook was only 5 years old itself at the time) are very valuable but they rely on having the right person read your post and respond at the right time not to mention IN time and then hope the information is correct. There was no one stop shop for answers to bird questions so we put together this resource to help out parronts, new and old with what to expect as a bird owner in order to provide a better life for our beloved feathered kids or “fids”. (More lingo) We have only had lovebirds but most of these issues and scenarios will be pertinent for multiple species. If you have any questions you can email either of us. Check our Contact tab for more details. We will also try to gather “experts and breeders” of certain species to be able to link to and have contact info on in order to try to better help bird owners along.
But some other things to consider with birds. Where will they be housed? Do you have a room that has the flexibility of being both a room the whole family can be around including him yet be quiet enough at night for him to sleep? Does this room have lots of sunlight? Birds live outside and like most diurnal animals, they get some of their nutrients from the sun. Will this room be ample for that? If you’re alone, do you have or can you afford the space if you get serious with someone? What if you and that someone are all of a sudden expecting? Do you have room? Are you going to be patient with a screaming or chirping bird that was used to your attention but now can’t give it because you have to feed and change this new baby? What about when you’re tired from late night feedings? Are you going to use your best judgment with a chirping bird who wants your attention but since it has no neo cortex can’t understand that you now have a baby? What might you do to that bird in anger? Because we all know how level headed we humans are when we are stressed and sleep deprived. Are you willing to give up using perfume? (more than a drop or one spray) Are you willing to not use aerosols if they are used near the bird’s cage for cleaning, bathroom “deodorizer”, deodorant, air freshener, cooking anywhere near this room? Will they be by a window that they can look out of and see outside yet a window that isn’t drafty? Are you willing to not cook with Teflon above 400 degrees if the bird will be on the same floor as kitchen if there is no door to separate the bird from that and other cooking smoke/fumes? Does your neighbor like to grill or have bonfires and the fumes/smoke come directly into the house through the window that the bird will be next to? Charcoal fumes and smoke can kill your bird as you’re enjoying your light craft IPA beer with your neighbors. Do you live in the city by a main strip where automobile exhaust can travel into open windows on warm days? Lots of what don’t harm us large mammals will kill a bird in minutes or seconds. Do you have cats? Sylvester & Tweety aren’t that far from reality minus the ability to speak English and the cool contraptions from ACME. Most dogs are OK, especially puppies because they get used to what they can or can’t do but not always. Are you going to have a place where they can play and be partially flighted so that they can go to 2 or 3 different perches/playpens when they’re outside of their cage (i.e. “out”)? Are you going to be able to spend at least an hour or so per day with them on average?
Again, this isn’t an animal you can just get and clean the cage once a week. If that’s the case, get a cat. The great thing about Birds is that (assuming the cage is clean) you can give them a tad larger amount of fresh water and food that you normally would on Friday afternoon and return Sunday with no problem. Any longer than that you want to have someone come in and change the water and check the food but unlike a dog where you have to leave killer parties of legend in the making, just so you can wrap your hand in plastic and grab a steaming pile of turd, you can leave birds for a weekend and they’ll generally be just fine. Once you earn a bird’s trust I’ll put them up against a dog’s loyalty any day. So there’s a lot of advantages to having a bird but there is just as much responsibility if not more than a dog. A dog has the whole house to themselves and toys and isn’t in a cage when you come home. Birds need a bit more planning and care but you’ll love every minute of it. Plus when you get kisses from your bird, you don’t have to wonder if they were just licking their unmentionables or eating their own excrement.
Small birds chirp but are generally not that loud. Large birds, especially Cockatoos and specifically the Moluccan Cockatoo has a scream 5 decibels under that of at jet engine. So be prepared. I was talking to a guy who was housing his mother’s cockatoo while she was in the hospital and the bird didn’t like being separated from her. One day the bird was screaming because no one was home and the neighbors called the cops because they thought someone was being hurt or murdered. Literally. They thought someone was being savagely beaten. He hadn’t gotten around to telling his neighbors about the bird because his mom’s hospital stay was supposed to be a day or two. Luckily he was pulling up to the driveway as the cops got there and explained the situation. Funny story but again… be prepared.
And one thing I will say that will be talked about later is that a lovebird is about $80, a cockatiel about $150, conures $300-$400 and so on, even though they may be relatively inexpensive compared to a dog, these birds can live for 10-20 and even 30 years. Just because they’ve inexpensive to maintain and care for doesn’t mean they’re expendable. That never really comes into question until the one thing that you never expect. The vet. Start saving $10 per week per paycheck until you have $500-$1000 saved up for an emergency vet bill in case your fid gets sick. Vet bills are outrageous. I know numerous people who have put animals down because once they reach a certain age, $4000 isn’t something that most people have lying around to do surgery on Skeeter’s leg when it falls off the shelf attempting to pounce on the light that’s reflecting from the chandelier onto the wall. I get that vets expect a higher standard of living than most but some things are just beyond comprehension. But you need to be prepared because once this little creature steals your heart like you never imagined a tiny ball of feathery fluff could, when they get sick and you don’t have the money, you will be devastated. It’s the worst lesson you’ll ever have to learn about being prepared for a worst case scenario. I say this because as you’ll read later, we weren’t prepared but we did get lucky.
So if you’re still reading this after all this possible negative stuff I’ve mentioned, which is the equivalent of still sitting at the dinner table across from this so called “date” that’s all sorts of crazy and you’ve read this far and are still willing to give it a go… then let’s get to picking a bird. Get to know the bird species you may be interested in. Pick them by the way they look, size, coloring, lifespan, what have you but PLEASE don’t pick a parrot because you want something that talks. Not all birds talk and the ones that have a tendency to do so, will generally not say the kitschy things you want them to say but they’ll pick up the bad/lame words and the swears first. You’ll repeat “cook me” for 2 years and it won’t utter it at all but yet that one time you’re watching Rainman and Dustin Hoffman says “97X… Bam! The future of rock ‘n’ roll”… your bird will become Rainbird. Oh, and if you are planning on getting an African Grey, make sure you change your smoke and carbon monoxide batteries every daylight savings day/equinox. Because that beep seems to somehow be ingrained in African Grey brains and they LOVE that beep.
And yes… bird do and will bite. DO NOT hit, slap or flick your bird especially its beak and especially not small birds. Their necks are small and you can break them. There is “Rhea, the naked bird” online. That bird has PBFD and is featherless. Take a look at how small that bird’s neck is. That is why you don’t hit or flick a bird. If a bird bites, sometimes it’s because they’re being a jerk but usually it’s simply because you’re trying to get it to do something YOU want it to that IT doesn’t want to do. Imagine the roles are reversed and the bird is your boss. Now proceed. You’ll find that birds are smart but sometimes they just don’t want to do human things. Don’t force them. Buy leather gloves and falcon training equipment for bigger birds if there’s an issue. But most problems will be sorted out with trust and by the bird knowing what it can do and not do and what to expect from you and vice versa. Owning a bird is not much different than a marriage or having a child. You generally get out of it what you put into it. Mr. Miyagi even said “no such thing as bad student, only bad teacher”.
I of course will suggest getting a lovebird but I may be biased. I mean look at that bundle of squant cuteness. I can’t possibly see why I’d want to see that puffed ball of lovin’s every day. SQUEEE! So if you’re ready to take the plunge, let’s begin.